


Comfort

by heartsdesire456



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s01e13 Morning Star, Sad Alec, Sweet Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:12:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7831630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After not speaking for a while, Magnus did not expect a late-night visit from Alec.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little scene I thought about last night.

It was very late, and Magnus was not expecting the knock at his door. Whoever it was hadn’t even buzzed in downstairs, so he suspected it was one of his new stele-carrying friends. His money was on Clary, right up until the moment he snapped the door open and called, “It’s open!” and the footsteps that followed were decidedly heavier than hers.

He stepped back from his workbench and carefully waited, worried for a moment, only to be surprised when it was Alec. “Alexander? It’s very late, are you alright?” he asked as he walked towards him, frowning when he saw the way Alec’s shoulders slumped. “Alec?”

Alec lifted his eyes and Magnus was surprised to see how bedraggled he was. He and Alec hadn’t had a chance to talk since their discussion before Jocelyn woke up, and he wasn’t entirely sure where they stood. The days following Jocelyn waking up were full of work and they hadn’t gotten a chance to speak in private at all. That was nearly a week ago. Now, however, he realized that Alec must’ve been running himself ragged trying to find Valentine. Alec rubbed a hand through his messy hair, sighing tiredly. “I’m sorry for coming so late. I wasn’t- time doesn’t really …” He exhaled heavily. “I’m sorry, I know things are… not really okay, but I just-“ He lifted his head, looking over at the window as he shifted from foot to foot. “I needed… I need-“ He groaned. “I don’t even know. I just need somebody who- I need someone I can-“ He groaned in frustration. “I don’t know what I need, but I needed you,” he finished in a voice barely more than a mumble. “Magnus, I-“

“Shhh,” Magnus shushed, stepping closer to him. “I understand,” he said, and he felt a warm glow in his belly at the realization that, in his exhausted, emotional state, Alec just wanted someone to make him comfortable and felt like that someone was Magnus. It gave him hope for their situation. “It’s alright, Alexander.” He reached out, touching Alec’s leather jacket. “Come on. You’ll be more comfortable if you get out of this and your boots,” he said, and Alec followed his directions and took off the leather jacket and then walked over to the couch to sit down and take off his boots. Magnus took both from him and went to put them by the door. While he was there, he snapped a cup of hot cocoa with just a little bit of cinnamon whiskey in it into his hand and brought it with him when he returned to see Alec leaning back on the couch, his head over the back of the couch as he stared at the ceiling miserably.

“We can’t find him,” Alec said when Magnus came back. “I can’t- I haven’t been this far away from Jace since we adopted him, and we can’t find him.”

Magnus settled onto the couch beside him and put the mug in his hands. “Here, Alec. This will help you feel better,” he soothed. He grabbed the fuzzy throw off of the armchair beside them and spread it across Alec’s lap. Alec looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and Magnus just smiled. “Warm and fuzzy things help when you’re stressed. Trust me.” He curled his legs up so that his knees were to one side and put his arm along the couch behind Alec. “You will find Jace,” he reassured, and Alec, much to his surprise, scooched down some so he could lay his head against Magnus’s shoulder.

“I just… worry.” Alec closed his eyes, going tense. “What if he’s already dead, Magnus?”

Magnus shook his head, curling his arm around Alec to rub at his shoulder. “You would know, Alec. Trust me.” He smiled sadly. “I knew a boy once. A long, long time ago. He was a friend.”

Alec managed a small smile. “Friend, huh?”

Magnus shook his head. “Just a friend. Barely even that.” He stroked his thumb along the seam of Alec’s shirt. “When his Parabatai died, his Parabatai mark gushed blood and he was in incredible agony and blacked out and woke up to his mark fading to the way it does after your bond is severed. If he was dead, you would definitely know it. You would feel it in your heart and your mark wouldn’t be the same,” he reassured him.

Alec grimaced. “Wow, thanks. Good to know that if Jace dies I’ll go through all that,” he said, and then trailed off. “I’m not sure it’s universal though, Magnus. Also I weakened our bond already. I can’t feel him anymore,” he said in a pained tone.”

Magnus shook his head. “You would know if he was gone, Alexander. It feels weak because he’s so far away from you. But you know far more intimately than I do that being Parabatai is almost like the connection that they say identical twins have. They swear that when something happens to one twin, often the other just knows immediately.” He smiled sadly. “You and Jace are bonded to your very souls. You would know if your brother was dying.”

“My dad didn’t know.” Magnus tensed and looked at him when Alec lifted his head and looked at him again.

Magnus frowned. “What?”

Alec nodded. “That’s how Valentine was able to pass himself off as Michael Wayland and Jace as Michael Wayland’s son.” He shook his head. “My dad didn’t even know his Parabatai was dead. And then when he ‘died’ Dad found out when they called him about Jace.”

“Oh.” Magnus said, absently tapping his toe against the carpet. “Shit,” he said bluntly and Alec smiled sadly, sipping his hot cocoa. “How, though?” Magnus asked curiously. “I know your parents were exiled here, but-“

“Michael Wayland was in love with my dad and he told him.” Magnus’s stomach flipped and Alec nodded slowly. “That’s why Dad’s more forgiving about the whole you thing. Guilt. He confessed to me just the other night. Nobody else but me knows that Dad’s parabatai being in love with him is the reason that Dad pushed him away.”

Magnus frowned. “Wow. That’s… that’s something.” He made a face. “A bit ironic, huh? The whole ‘crush on Jace’ thing,” he said and Alec nodded flatly.

“Yeah.” He winced. “Which feels so weird, now,” he admitted, looking ahead into the distance. “For so many years I thought I was in love with Jace, but now just thinking that feels weird.”

Magnus chuckled. “Darling, you’re gay and he’s the only man your own age you were ever around. It’s just normal to develop feelings of attraction to the only guy you’ve ever been around.”

Alec winced. “Now, the thought is just so odd. He’s my best friend. He’s my brother. Why the hell was I attracted to him?” he asked and Magnus smiled soothingly.

“It’s good that you worked that out. Although, I’m pretty sure he knew and he never did what your father did to his Parabatai,” he reassured.

Alec sighed, his eyes growing sad. “I never could push Jace away. He could probably try to kill me and I’d still be unable to just- just lose touch. Dad cut off contact with him. That’s why he didn’t feel it when he died. He hadn’t spoken to him and wanted nothing to do with him because he was so disgusted by him, and then Valentine killed him and assumed his identity and nobody knew because Dad was so homophobic he shunned his Parabatai.” He shook his head. “You’re right. I’d know,” he said firmly. “If Jace wasn’t okay, I’d feel it. I would know. Even with our bond weakened from tracking him, I _would feel it_.”

Magnus nodded. “Of course you would.” He squeezed him some. “Also, I know it’s terrible, but be proud that your father grew from that. It’s horrible he did that to his Parabatai, but look at how he’s being with you,” he reassured him. “Don’t get me wrong, I have enough reason to hate your parents, but the way he spoke to you after the wedding was very decent of him. I never expected that of him. I thought he would be as bad as your mother if not worse.”

Alec blushed some, looking over at Magnus for the first time, really. He had glanced his way, but this was the first time since they sat that he looked Magnus in the eyes. “Do you know that he seemed more worried you were just messing with my feelings than anything?” he asked bashfully. “Mom was less angry you’re a guy and more angry you’re a Downworlder, but Dad kept talking about how you’re known to be…” He stuttered and Magnus chuckled, able to guess what he was trying to find a polite way to say.

“Not exactly monogamous is what I assume you are trying to say?” he asked, and Alec nodded sheepishly, looking down at his mug.

“Yeah. I told him it’s not about that, though. I mean, I think you like me the way I like you,” he clarified. “You seemed to have real feelings for me, but honestly, I just wanted to be free,” he whispered in a softer tone. “You sort of gave me the kick I needed to not- not ruin any chance at getting to be who I really am. I do have feelings for you. But if I was interested in women at all I probably would’ve still gone through with the wedding just because I wouldn’t feel so trapped.” He looked at Magnus apologetically. “I promise I would’ve still been really sad I never got to kiss you, though,” he reassured and Magnus grinned.

“I’m glad you’re gay, then, because neither you nor Lydia deserved a political marriage,” he said earnestly. “Lydia’s nice. I like her. She deserves to be happy, not marry a guy just for control of an institute. And you deserve happiness which you would have never found with her.”

Alec smiled at him, eyes shining a bit. “I know I haven’t been in touch with you after- after our talk. But I have thought about everything and I kind of hope I can maybe find happiness with you,” he said and Magnus’s smile widened at Alec’s show of courage. 

“I want that as well, Alexander,” he said softly, reaching up to brush his fingers through the back of Alec’s hair soothingly. “And I do understand. There is so much going on right now, and this is a horrible time to try and begin a relationship, and I now my immortality will always be an issue. It always has been. It will be until I die, I know it-“

Alec interrupted him. “Yes, it is, and this is a terrible time to try to begin a relationship, except for the fact that I don’t want to wait and risk never having a chance,” he said simply. “I know your immortality has probably been an issue in the past, but Magnus, I don’t care about it for me, and I realized that whether we’re together or not, you will still continue suffering losses.” He shook his head. “Like I said the last time we talked, you watch everybody you love die, and that breaks my heart. But if it isn’t me, it will still be somebody,” he said sadly. “It’s selfish to want to avoid being the person who you cry over instead of wanting to be the person who gets to make you smile, for however long I get to do that.”

Magnus’s smile widened and he couldn’t help the soft sigh before he spoke. “Oh.” He blushed slightly. “Alexander, that was…” He ducked his head. “That was probably the most romantic thing anybody has said to me,” he admitted honestly. “I don’t even know how to respond to that.”

“Your beautiful smile is the only response I need,” Alec said in a shy tone, and Magnus looked up to see that, whereas he had blushed a little, Alec was bright red. Magnus leaned his head against the back of the couch, watching the blush as it faded down Alec’s neck. He couldn’t believe this beautiful, perfect man had walked into his life.

Magnus grinned and shook his head. “If you’re not careful, Alec Lightwood, you’re gonna make me fall in love with you.”

Alec leaned his head back against Magnus’s arm, meeting his gaze. “Good,” he said simply, and Magnus couldn’t help himself. He gave a blinding smile and leaned in, pressing a small, sweet kiss to Alec’s lips.


End file.
